There are some interesting techniques used in this rough cut which, with development, could very effectively engage your target audience.
Areas to develop now should include:
Adding in more performance footage. You need to cover the track at least two more times, so that you can cut back and forward between different performances. One of the extra track coverages could be a performance? Generically, this would be appropriate.
The split screen is effective, but needs development.
The use of text is very interesting and could provide the technical 'tone' to your video. There are too many black backgrounds for the text at the moment and you might like to think about moving the text, changing sizes etc. You could also put the text over the footage. The video would thenlook more integrated.
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